Focus Needs Direction

"An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming."  - Author Unknown

Are you on the precipice of greatness? Sometimes it's difficult to realize that you are exactly where you need to be. The idea of 'focus' seems simple enough but, in reality, it can be anything but simple. Some have defined focus as 'the center of interest or activity'. Ok, that seems fair. But, here's where the complexity enters; focus isn't enough. What do you mean? Of course it's enough. During this pivotal time, my wife and I have been discussing some hypotheticals and potential next steps for our family to take. And, what I realized in a conversation this morning was that she and I are both extremely focused on the same thing but that we are essentially standing back-to-back. Or perhaps a better way to say it, we are standing in the exact same spot, yet looking in opposite directions.

Let me explain using the illustration of the arrow in the quote above. Most arrows are made up of three basic parts: the arrowhead, the shaft, and the fletching. The fletching is the part at the back end of the arrow most commonly depicted using feathers. This is the location, figuratively of course, that my wife and I are standing. We are both very aware of where we currently find ourselves and acknowledge that we are where we need to be presently. It could easily and accurately be said that we have focus. And now, why I say focus needs direction. As I stand on the fletching, facing the direction in which the arrow is being pulled there are many things to speculate from this position. I wonder how much further backwards we'll be pulled, which way is this thing even aimed, the bow's string has to be about ready to break. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale is not likely to be too proud or impressed with me at this point, I can assure you. And then there's my wife, Jaci, with a vastly different vantage point of the situation. As she's staring straight down the archer's eye line, things look a bit better. In her mind the contemplations have a much more positive spin. This has to be close to as far backwards as we'll go before being catapulted forward, we are aimed dead at that bulls-eye, the tautness of the string tells me that once we're on our way we are going to get there fast. Little different outlook, huh? So, despite being in the same place there are (at least) two ways to look at one's circumstances. And, sometimes we all need to be reminded of the power of our own perspective. I know I sure did today.

What about you? What types of situations have you found yourself in where, looking back, you could have simply adjusted your perspective in order to improve your circumstances? Or better yet, who's the person you're back-to-back with in instances like that that helps, sometimes literally, turn you around?


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Jefferson

The Color of Fun

Relaxation comes in many forms and means many different things to different people. From the yoga/tai chi types to the sweatpants and couch sitters. Me? Well, I fall somewhere in between.

Not too terribly long ago, I had a job that was extremely stressful. In an attempt to reduce some of the stress that I found myself holding onto (and as a method to reduce some of the additional pounds I've been holding so near and dear for the last, ahem, decade) I decided to take up running. Now, for those of you who don't know me that well, here's a fun fact: I'm not exactly a toe-in-the-water kind of guy. Nope, I'm all in…whatever it is. So, clearly as a new runner I needed to get myself equipped properly and, more importantly, promptly. Naturally I did what every new to running individual should do; I sought the professional guidance and advice of THE most trusted source available. Google. And, after what had to be minutes of searching I found some sweet looking, neon (that's how you know they're good), fast sounding named running shoes and just like that, they were on the way. Now the waiting begins. Shoulda gone with the express shipping…these two days are causing me to lose momentum, I should out on the road right now! At last, they arrive. I wish I had a picture of the day I first put them on because words cannot even begin to describe how 'official' I had to look.  I mean neon yellow AND green!?! I should probably practice posing for over the shoulder photo ops because of the speed these bad boys are about propel me to in the races to come. After a quick spin around the block (we didn't live anywhere near a block but hey, that's how the saying goes) I came back inside to collapse and die.

Who's idea was this anyway? Why would anyone ever do this intentionally? I'm not sure at this point.

So, day one came and went. Day two, time to get back out there. It gets easier every time they say. All I can say in response to that is that 'they' are liars! However, on I shall go. After an even shorter run, if you can call it that, I return home to commence what has now become my post run ritual: collapse and die. My lovely wife, who can just pick up and run for miles without a care in the world after literally years of not running, happened to notice that I was walking strangely. Or, stranger than usual anyway. And, after making the observation, immediately switched into mom mode when trying to buy new shoes for a child. Ok, now walk towards me. Stop doing all that, just walk normal. Now walk back. Let me see where your toes are. You get the idea. Unless you don't have kids, in which case, just stick with me, it's almost over. (She's an amazing mother and our kids shoes fit perfectly by the way!) After my walk around test it has been determined that these shoes are made for someone other than me.

Time to seek real, actual professional help now. You know, like I should have done prior to day one. My wife and I head over to Riverside Runners to figure out if there is A) better equipment available or B) if I should find another hobby. The people at RR take one look at my feet in those fancy neon shoes and then look at me, head slightly tilted to one side and stare at me like I have a third eye in the middle of my forehead as if to say, "bless his heart". Ok, so that is what should have happened but it did not actually happen. The RR folks are awesome! No judgement about the shoes, or anything else, for that matter. They did confirm my wife's suspicions that, perhaps, the shoes I had purchased were not the most conducive choice if I wanted to continue to be able to walk, much less run. And, they carefully took the time to measure my feet (apparently most people have one bigger than the other), try on multiple styles in various brands, asked lots of questions, and really made sure that, before I left that day, I was truly satisfied with my purchase. They also have an absurdly generous return policy just in case by the way.

So, now I'm all geared up and ready to go again. I've got shoes that actually fit properly, a GPS watch, and every article of Dri-Fit Nike makes that says 'running' on it…back to looking official. It's go time! So yeah, despite the fact that the shoes literally did make a HUGE difference since they were the correct fit, level of arch support, and all that jazz I realized that I am not the athlete that I once was (and I'm not sure I was one). This running stuff is hard work. But, what I very quickly came to realize was the relaxation through it all. Running has become very therapeutic for me in a matter of only a few months. I'm significantly faster than I was and can certainly cover more distance than the day one fiasco. But, conversely, I'm no where, and I do mean no where, close to when I ran in, brace yourselves, elementary school. I still remember my fastest mile in the fifth grade: 5:34. And I remember the two people who ran it faster than me as well: John Michael Hyman and Lindsay Wray. Those two were legit!

Throughout this rediscovery of running I decided that I would try to do one race every single month in 2014. And, wouldn't it be a nice win-win if the races I chose actually benefited something too? So, I fire up the ole googlenet and find a few right off the bat. January 1st there's a Resolution Run in Roanoke that benefits Bethany Hall, a long-term residential program that provides substance abuse treatment for women and women with children. Boom! First day of the year and I'm one race in the books. This one was especially nice because I was able to run it with my wife and my buddy Andy. These two have been the biggest victims of my new found infatuation with running. February 15th I find a race in Christiansburg. That'll work nicely. *Roadblock* We bought a house that we moved into instead that weekend. Oh, and we got a little over a foot of snow. That was the closest (geographically) race at about an hour and a half away so looks like February is shot. March, ah March. Ok, so I fell off the wagon in March. Don't judge. I'm chalking this one up to new house projects, quitting my job, etc. I mean honestly, we did have a lot going on. Enough with the excuses, let's get back at it.

Me and Jaci at the Resolution Run 01.01.2014

April is here and with it comes The Color Run.

Now this particular run has intrigued me for a while. I actually registered for this one back in December and now it was finally here. My wife and I were discussing the logistics, as we often have to do with three kids, and wondered if this run would be a good one for Mallory, our oldest. She's a beautiful five year old with a genuine love for exercise and has completed a  few runs of her own already. But, this would be, by far, the longest. We decide she's ready for it so we pitch the idea to her so that she can make her own decision. We show her pictures and videos and try our best to describe being hit in the face with paint as she's running (seriously, go to the website and check it out). And, our beautiful, girly, girl wants in. Perfect, we've got her really amped about it now so my wife shifts into prep mode: this girl needs a tutu, stat!

I'm really glad that she had a tutu because it seems having one is a basic requirement at these things. Seriously, we got passed by more burly, bearded men wearing tutus than I could possibly count. It's ok, I'll wait so you can read that again, it wasn't a typo. Now that the stage has (somewhat) been set for you I can assure you that you have no idea what it's actually like. It was quite the production and very professionally done. If you're looking for a 5k to set a new PR (that's Personal Record, see how hip I am in the running world?), this ain't it. On the other hand, if you're looking for a ridiculous, family friendly, wholesomely dirty opportunity to get outside and burn a few calories while having a great time…this should be right up your alley.

Mallory and Daddy, pre race at The Color Run 04.05.2014

Annnnd, post race.

Mallory and I cruised through this 5k in just under an hour, hand in hand the entire way (with the exception of photo ops). As her first time going this distance her time impressed at least me despite the fact that timing is the last thing on participant's minds there. I'm really excited about the fact that she loves to run and hope that it helps in the promotion of a balanced and healthy life for her. But, what I'm more excited about is that fact that this beautiful little girl wanted nothing more today than to be in a race with her Daddy and that she had so much fun that she's ready for the next one. I'm extremely proud of her and can't wait to do it again myself. I'm also incredibly grateful for a loving, supportive wife who, two other kids in tow, came out there to cheer us on and help clean up after all our shenanigans.

What are some of the special moments that you share with your family and friends under the guise of fun? Feel free to share your ideas so that others might be able to experience them as well.


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Jefferson

All In A Name

When one is given the opportunity to name something or someone, it can be a really daunting task. There is so much pressure to get it right. I mean this, presumably, is a once in a lifetime thing. In some capacity, the name that is chosen is going to help shape the entire future…everything from initial perception and preconceived notions to what the initials actually spell and where it lands in banana-bana-bo-bana-fee-fi-fo-fana. We're talking life changing here.

Fortunately, this is not that serious.

The name up for discussion today is this blog's: Just Head South. And, while nomenclature is not to be taken lightly there are instances in which it may matter a bit less than in others. Naming our three kids was a long, drawn out process that literally spanned months.  There was a method to our madness which may or may not make sense to anyone but us, which is perfectly fine. Back to Just Head South. Do tell the deeply rooted, philosophical meaning behind this carefully thought out decision. I liked it. That's about it…initially. But, as with most things in life, there are layers within cognitive thoughts. It wasn't until I was talking it over with my wife that I actually realized some of the significance behind the name. And I say some because I'm sure that there is more there than what I have uncovered so far. As I found myself trying to explain how/why I came up with the name it suddenly just made sense. I was born and raised in the south and am extremely thankful for and proud of my heritage. Now I married a girl from the Midwest so don't go thinking I'm all stuck in my ways, can't think outside of my own box, like things how I like them and that's it. I am that way, I just don't want you to think it. I love experiencing all four seasons but don't have a high level of interest in being cold for very long. Generic, blanket statement alert: the people are nice, polite, and well mannered in the south. The traditions, cultural nuances, sweetness of tea, sense of community are all things that make the south comfortable for me. And, since the name Southern Comfort is spoken for, that was immediately off the table. The more I thought through it, the more I realized that there are few circumstances in which I may find myself where I could increase my personal comfort level if I would Just Head South. This is an obvious physical truth if we're talking about winter in Nova Scotia. But there is also truth in it (for me) when thinking about core values, food preparation, child rearing, etc. Bottom line for me is this: when I feel a little out of place, in any aspect of life, things almost always eventually get better if I Just Head South.

Credit: @PicsOfTheSouth for this awesome shot of the South

Inevitably there are times when you don't feel comfortable as well; it could be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, creatively, etc. So, when you find yourself in that place, where do you go for solace?


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Jefferson

Free Falling

"This is your Captain speaking. It's a beautiful, sunny day and the temperature is 75° at our cruising altitude of 35,000 feet today. At this point I'm planning to simply shut off the engines and we'll figure it out as we go. Thanks and enjoy the rest of your flight."

Wait, what?

And so my journey begins. Now this, of course, did not literally happen despite the fact that it figuratively is very much alive and well at the moment. I'll give a brief background to help set the stage for you. I have obligations. My beautiful wife of six years stays home and raises our wonderful three children (5, 3, and 7 months). We have a mortgage, car payment, and student loans. We are, for all intents and purposes, an All-American family. And I have worked basically in Finance for the last decade. There have been many ups and downs along the way but we have always been more than adequately provided for financially.

So I quit my job.

Not the, I won the Powerball quit my job, or the got in at the ground floor of a network marketing company quit my job, not even a took a better opportunity kind of quit my job. Nope. But rather the I have absolutely nothing lined up, no hot leads, nothing on the horizon, this makes no sense kind of quit my job. Why would you do that? You have a family to feed! Are you crazy? I would never do that! Believe me, these are all things that went through my head as well...and many more I can assure you. But, oddly enough, there were a tremendous number of whole-hearted supporters along the way on this one. First and foremost being the aforementioned beautiful wife. She wants the best for me no matter what and is willing to do anything and everything necessary to accommodate that. Also, my parents were extremely encouraging following this tough decision. We have a few close friends who are able to understand the rationale behind the seemingly rash decision. There have also been a significant amount of 'random' people to affirm the decision along the way. More on that another time. 

It's only been a few weeks since the decision to leave my job was made and while it simply feels like a long vacation on some days, it feels like the never-ending pit of despair at other fleeting moments. Let's get more into the why behind the decision. Simply put, we made the decision to put our money where our mouth was by trusting in the providence and sovereignty of God. We, my family and I, believe that our God is alive and actively interested in every aspect of our lives. We believe that the Bible is His infallible word and that it's truth is definitively that: truth. So, I found myself needing to become more reliant on Him and not just say that I trust He will provide, but to actually live in that trust. I do, however, want to clarify that I am not kicking back on the couch watching Netflix and checking the mailbox for my checks from God. I am actively seeking employment but am simultaneously seeking God's will for my life and trusting that He will direct my path. Also, as with most challenging situations, this is genuinely helping me better learn how to pray. I think I know the type of environment that I would like to work in and even the corporate family by which I would like to be employed. However, I'm now praying that the desires of my heart coincide with the direction He has for my life. 

So here we are, free falling. And, while we're losing proverbial altitude financially, we're gaining intestinal fortitude by way of faith. Hard to put a price tag on that. 

Have there been times in your life where, looking back, you realize God was positioning you for something greater than you ever imagined in the moment? Share that encouragement with others; it may be just what someone needs to hear right now.

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Jefferson